Saturday, April 26, 2008

Memo from a Child to the Parent


Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for, I’m only testing you.

Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it, it makes me feel secure.

Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in a early stage.

Don’t make me feel smaller then I am. It only makes me behave stupidly “big”.

Don’t correct me in front of people, if you can help it. I`ll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

Don’t make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.

Don’t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.

Don’t be too upset when I say “I hate you”. Sometimes it isn’t you I hate but your power over me.

Don`t take too much notice of my ailments. Sometimes they get me attention I don’t need.

Don`t nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by being deaf.

Don`t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. That’s why I am not always accurate.

Don`t put me off when I ask questions. If you do you’ll find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.

Don`t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

Don`t tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.

Don`t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you’re neither.

Don`t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me surprisingly warm towards you.

Don`t forget I love experimenting. I couldn’t get along without it, so please put up with it.

Don`t forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please try to.

Don`t forget that I don’t thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don’t need to tell you that do I?

Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you


Fr Eugene Lobo SJ

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